I have been terribly heart broken since quite some weeks now. It feels like a bruise which needs to be tended to partly every day, each hour. Every time the thought of him throwing me away like that comes, I shrink in disgust for myself. One realisation which has dawned over me after this incident is that a person can still recuperate from a bad relationship or a friendship, but a smashed self respect is not easy to deal with. When such a think happens, one needs to be still, talk to oneself and act as a self calmer. I am telling myself that I’m not this person, that other’s have had worse experiences and that I will emerge as a more self respecting, worthy woman.
Also, the term ‘ending on a good note’ is not a myth. Its just that many people are not able to achieve it because of situational half heartedness or simple hard heatedness. I don’t want to grow cold as I grow older. The process of self evaluation only concludes towards a more evolved person. And that is exactly one needs to do… the warmth should increase, not decrease with bad occurrences.
And so, I pray from all my heart that he, who left me stranded, should not be meted out with the same behaviour from elsewhere as that would make him hate life further. I want this man to be content, happy and loved. He should be nourished the way I would have nourished him, he should receive as many forehead kisses I dreamt to give him and should be stopped from wavering, the way I would have stopped him…
In the meanwhile, I am taking care…..
